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The SRO was developed by Trijicon to provide a purpose-built pistol red dot for competition, which the RMR is not. That’s why the SRO has a broader FOV and, most importantly for pistol users, the ability to change the battery without removing the entire optic (something you have to do with the RMR). However, Trijicon’s own reps have gone on record to say that the SRO isn’t built to the same durability standards as the RMR, since the taller glass is more prone to breakage. Before you make the call on an optic and mount, I would encourage you think about what your preferred sight picture is. I have a collapsible stock on my M4, and I find that with it set to my preferred LOP, the factory irons (which I believe the Sync can co-witness with) are actually too low for my taste. This is why I have an Aimpoint T2 on an ADM low mount using the factory pic rail. I find that that gives me the perfect sight picture. YMMV.

Shout out to Carrier Comp for their communication and quality! Nice work matching the midnight bronze. Removal of the stock mag tube was easy as there was only a small amount of red thread locker applied at the factory.

You would not be able to drill a hole in the bottom of the pad since it would compromise the air cavity. However, if you could live without moving the stock in to the fully collapsed position, you could probably use a 10807 with a Noveske adapter plate.

The 10403 fits the collapsible stock but there is no airtech equivalent https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1999/2905/files/2018_Recoil_Pad_Cross_Reference.pdf?14668201401536722633 You'd need to do a noveske plate adapter hack and use the 10807

Snidely - DFWSFO makes 2 great points. The first being the diff between the RMR and SRO. The second might not be as obvious. If you have a collapsible stock, the eyeball to sights look angle changes as you shorten the stock and thus the length of pull; all due to the fact that the recoil tube is angled down unlike an AR platform recoil tube that is parallel to the barrell. I only repeat this on behalf of DFWSFO because he makes a great point that shouldn't be lost on you. Others on this site use the RMR and Sync combo with collapsible stocks so you make get more opinions here. I sue that combo on my M4 but a I run with a fixed stock.

Attached excel spreadsheet reflect the weights I've compiled for accessories that I have installed, had installed and have been contemplating. The reduction column shows items I've added or swapped out on my M4. The biggest weight gain is the addition of a Scout light and the biggest savings was replacing the Mesa side saddle shell holder w/ a velcro Vang Comp system and swapping out the Nordic 7 round tube with a CC tube. Your actual weight savings may vary! Hope this helps! M4 Accessory Weights.xlsx

You'll be looking at about a 5.5 ounce weight reduction. I find it definitely noticeable.

I picked the RMR because it seems a little lower profile and is supposed to be more robust, plus I have one on my Sig MPX Copperhead K 4.5 and really like it with the 3.25 dot.

The RMR and SRO have the same footprint, the rail itself will allow either to mount.

There is a lot of extremely good comments and advice here, IMO. Deciding to arm yourself at home or concealed carry away from home is really a lifestyle change. That can sound overwhelming but it shouldn't deter you from taking the first step on the journey. Other than parroting what others have already said, my best advice is for you and your wife to do it together if you can; this should be easier because it will be new to the both of you and you won't have the typical scenario of the know-it-all husband telling the little wifey what she needs and how to do it. Do some research on gun shops and training in your local area and talk to people and co-workers. One word of caution though, don't buy a gun because someone told you it is what you or your wife needs. Rent guns at a local range and get training on how to use them. There are many examples of people thinking that a particular weapon is right for them only to try a few others that they like better because of fit, weight, caliber, recoil, operating system, etc. I am a member of US Concealed Carry Association (USCCA). They provide insurance for their members that are involved in a self defense shooting but they also have a great magazine and training to help you on this journey. I would definitely heed what Evolution said regarding what is a justified shoot. USCCA discusses this aspect of self-defense often. Obviously you've done a bit of research already as you know the M4 and are on this site. Nine .32 caliber pellets hitting a target at 1200+ feet per second is very lethal and the reason my M4 sits behind my bedroom door loaded with buck. But, I also have pistols stashed around the house and garage and another on my hip. Not to insult you here, but it is a common misperception that a shotgun doesn't need to be aimed and can be used effectively when shot form the hip. A shotgun is NOT a street sweeper unless your watching a movie with Doc Holiday in it. It HAS TO BE AIMED like any other long gun as the pattern of pellets will not spread like the movies would lead you to believe. 00 buckshot will pattern around the size of a baseball at 30' and roughly 12" at 75'. These numbers can and will vary but not enough to argue about when considering the topic. Do a little You-Tube/Googling on shotgun patterns to get a better feel for it. As it sounds like budget is not a huge obstacle for you, you might consider his and her weapons whether they be shotguns, handguns or a combination of both. As a matter of reference, I don't consider myself anything of an expert on guns. I'm not a big burly and bearded guy with punisher tattoos on my arms and I don't do sweaty black and white photo shoots for Guns & Ammo magazine. I'm just a firearms enthusiast and a student of self defense. I hope you and your wife start the journey and really enjoy the ride -- it can be very fun and addicting!

I will agree that training is very important. Both you and your wife should pursue that. The M4 is an excellent choice for a home defense shotgun. It's probably a better choice than a pump because of inexperienced people short stroking the pump action and not feeding the next round in a rush. A semi auto would be more reliable when shooting quickly. As Stranger and Nails have said. Consider a handgun as well. The M4 is only good if you have it with you which is not very likely all the time as you move around your property. A handgun is easier to be carried always. There are many small 9mm semi autos to choose from. Spend time at a range where they also sell and you can try different models with your wife. Select what feels right and seems intuitive to shoot. I would suggest looking at the Sig P365 MS (manual safety) which is small and easy to carry around,. Another good choice is the Glock 19, though it's larger. It just depends on what you like and what she likes. Regardless of what you decide, training and understanding Situational Awareness (like Don said) is very important. You do not want a weapon to become a liability instead of an asset.