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WriterGuy

Writer needs feedback on a scene with a Benelli M4

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Hello,

 

Right off I'd like to make it clear that I am no gun expert, which is why I am seeking assistance here. I am an unpublished writer working on a PI novel, and I need to write an M4 and am looking for someone to look over my M4 related scene.

 

It's not much material - one scene, four paragraphs of M4 related content. Maybe 500 words.

 

I have some very specific technical questions WRT the handling and loading of the M4. I've read a number of descriptions, and I've read over the operators manual. But I do not have access to one that I can put my hands on to load up to see how it is done *exactly*. I'm American, but I'm in another country for the near future. So...not so easy to walk into a gun shop and start asking questions and maybe have a look.

 

The last thing I want to do is get the book published, then get a bunch of complaints from irate readers telling me I'm an idiot for getting the gun all wrong. (That happens, apparently. Go figure.)

 

What I am hoping for is someone willing to look over the scene for technical accuracy; someone that owns an M4 and/or knows the shotgun well. A reader of PI fiction would be a plus. If one of you is interested, please send me a PM, so we can chat and see if this will work for us.

 

I'm not published; I'm a new writer shopping my first PI novel right now. Writing isn't making me rich yet, so I can't pay for a consult. Of course you would end up in the acknowledgements when it's published.

 

Hopefully, someone can help me out. Thanks!

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I would give it a look. I use an M4 in 3-Gun competition, so I am pretty familiar with how it operates and loads. Mine is heavily modified, but I'm not sure that would matter until I read what you have.

 

Mike

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Since its just a short piece -- just post it here and crowdsource feedback

 

I thought about that, but I'm not sure that's the right way to go.

 

I'm not worried about anyone lifting the work or anything silly like that, but I think one on one is more effective.

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Did you get the comments I sent? You never responded.

 

Mike

 

Somehow the e-mail with an attachment slipped by me. I'll look it over.

 

Here I was waiting for you to get home...

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One thing about loading the M4:

If you're a novice, you're going to get your thumb caught in the Carrier or Shell Lifter.

If you're very familiar with it, you kind of get muscle memory when loading it so the forks of the carrier don't get hung up on the wrinkles on the back of your thumb.

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