Just some good gun related phrases/jokes

[Nikolai552]

1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

 

2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

 

3. I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.

 

4. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.

 

5. A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him 'Why do you carry a 45?' The Ranger responded, 'Because they don't make a 46.'

 

6. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm.

'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?'

'No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my rifle or a shotgun.'

 

7. Beware the man who only has one gun. HE PROBABLY KNOWS HOW TO USE IT!!!

 

But wait, there's more!

 

I was once asked by a lady visiting if I had a gun in thehouse. I said I did.

She said 'Well I certainly hope it isn't loaded!'

To which I said, of course it is loaded, can't work without bullets!'

She then asked, 'Are you that afraid of someone evil coming into your house?'

My reply was, 'No not at all. I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and they are all loaded too.'

To which I'll add, having a gun in the house that isn't loaded is like having a car in the garage without gas in the tank.

[DVC_MarkR]

Don't forget about the Marine Sniper who was asked what he felt when he shot an enemy combatant.

 

The Marine sniper thought a second and replied "Recoil":D

[Nikolai552]

I remember hearing that one on the radio.

[Unobtanium]

"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity."-Freud

 

"Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the Act depriving a whole nation of arms as the blackest. If we want the Arms Act to be repealed, if we want to learn the use of arms, here is a golden opportunity. If the middle classes render voluntary help to Government in the hour of its trial, distrust will disappear, and the ban on possessing arms will be withdrawn."-Ghandi

 

"Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself. They are the people's liberty teeth keystone... the rifle and the pistol are equally indispensable... more than 99% of them by their silence indicate that they are in safe and sane hands. The very atmosphere of firearms everywhere restrains evil interference. When firearms go, all goes, we need them every hour."-George Washington in his address to 1st session of Congress.

 

"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms."-Thomas Jefferson

 

"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government"- Thomas Jefferson

 

"Those now possessing weapons and ammunition are at once to turn them over to the local police authority. Firearms and ammunition found in a Jew's possession will be forfeited to the government without compensation Whoever willfully or negligently violates the provisions will be punished with imprisonment and a fine. "-Nazi Law

[Novaking]

Gun Control means using both hands!

 

Novaking

[DVC_MarkR]

Gun control means being able to hit your target.

[DVC_MarkR]

Hillary Clinton On Gun Control:

 

Hillary Clinton, a Presidential Democratic Party candidate is for

banning all guns in America . She is considered by those who have

dealt with her as a little more than just a little self-righteous.

 

At a recent rural elementary school meeting in north Florida she

asked the kids audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, she

started to slowly clap her hands, once every few seconds. Holding

the audience in total silence, she said into the microphone, "Every

time I clap my hands, a child in America dies from gun violence."

 

A young voice with a proud southern accent (probably Little Johnny)

from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet. "Well, stop clappin,

ya stupid [email protected]#$%!"

[splashtx556ftw]

that is toooooooo dammmmmm funny.:D

[splashtx556ftw]

yes the jacka**,s are real good at qouting statstics of how many people die due to gun violence.

yet i would be willing to bet , that half of those figures are criminals commiting felonies, that have died at the hands of a business owner trying to protect the livelyhood of his family.

or an everyday joe trying to prevent violence being bestowed upon his family or property that he has worked a lifetime to aqiure.lets hear about those stasics.

 

 

and lets ask that witch if her secret service body gaurds are going to be the first people she disarms.

 

they have never seen the likes of "gun" violence that they will see when they show up to take my guns. and god be with the first 10-15 at the door!!!

[TMAC]

I know a guy who was in the Marine Corp presidential guard during the Clinton administration. He said there were not too many guys willing to risk their lives over hers, he claims she use to just hate the secret police and military guard.

[DVC_MarkR]

This happened on a flight getting ready to depart for New Orleans.

Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The

guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.

 

"What's the matter?" Jack asked. "I've been transferred to New

Orleans. There are crazy people there. They've got lots of

shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the

highest crime rate."

 

Jack replied, "I've lived in New Orleans all my life. It's not as bad

as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own

business, and enroll your kids in a nice private school. It's as

safe a place as anywhere in the world."

 

The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've

been worried to death. But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll

take your word for it. So, What do you do for a living?"

 

"Oh Me?" said Jack. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."